Primeval fic: I'm Fine

[knitekat]

Title: I'm Fine

Author: knitekat

Word Count: 548

Characters: James Lester, Jenny Lewis.

Rating: 15

Disclaimer: Primeval belongs to Impossible Pictures. Certainly not me. Writing for fun and will replace.

Warning: Angst, hurt/comfort

A/N: Part of 10 the Claiming series, sequel to Bad Day At The Office and continues in Beautiful And Dangerous. Thanks to the wonderful Fred for the beta.

Her knock uncompleted, Jenny watches Lester rock back and forth, as she listens to his repeated litany.

How had she not been aware of this before? Why had it taken her to actually see him like this to realise that James hadn't been coping? Jenny could not believe that she ... that all of them ... had missed the signs of James' silent suffering. Had they all, including James, just bought into his cold and snarky I-can-cope-with-anything attitude?

“James?”

Lester stops rocking and looks up at her. The unguarded eyes bloodshot, full of pain and loss before he raises his shields automatically. “What can I do for you, Ms Lewis?”

Jenny bites back a sigh, “James. Please. You should talk to me. To someone.”

Lester shakes his head, “I'm fine, Jenny. I'm sure you have work to do.”

Jenny doesn't bother concealing her sigh this time, “No James. You need to talk.” She purposely steps into his personal space.

Lester surges out of his chair to grab her. Only as his hands close around her shoulders does the fury in his eyes die. He crumples back into his chair, his head in his hands as he shakes.

Jenny closes her eyes as she regains her own composure, before she squeezes Lester's shoulder. “Shh. James. It's OK. Everything will be OK.”

Lester's voice is broken, “I'm..” He pauses to swallow, starting again now his voice is stronger, “I'm fine, Jenny.”

“So I see. James, you are sobbing in your office. When I came in you were rocking backwards and forwards, and repeating 'He's dead. He's bloody dead'. It is bloody obvious that you haven't been eating or sleeping properly. That you have been drinking. Would you like to tell me again that you are fine?”

Lester manages a wry half-smile, “Would you believe me?”

Jenny smiles encouragingly, “No, I wouldn't. You need to talk to someone, James, please. Me. One of the psychiatrists you organised for Nick. Someone.”

“You mean the ones he never went to see?”

“Don't change the subject, James. We - all of us - are worried about you. We care about you ... hell, Connor spent every moment he could tracking down leads about you. Ryan and his men followed up every one Connor found. We, none of us, ever gave up looking for you”

Lester sighs softly, “I haven't thanked any of you for that ...”

“I ... we all want to help, James. Just let us. Please, James. We are all here for you.”

“I ...,” Lester blushes and buries his head in his hands, and his voice breaks again, “I can't ...” Lester rocks as he remembers events, a whimper torn from his throat.

Jenny pales, “Oh James.” She hums as she gently rubs his back for some considerable time, before he calms.

Lester takes a deep breath, “Thank you, Ms Lewis.”

“James?”

“You can go now.”

Jenny looks alarmed, “James? Please.”

“I'm fine, Ms Lewis. Shut the door on your way out.”

Jenny reluctantly leaves, remembering Ditzy's warning not to push Lester. Only in her own office, does Jenny close her eyes and let her own tears fall.

Comments

[rusty-armour.livejournal.com]

Oh, no! Poor Lester! Poor Jenny! :-( Well, I'm glad Jenny knows that Lester needs help, even if Lester ended up pushing her away. BTW I think you've done a great job of conveying what Lester's emotional state would be after everything he went through. I found it moving that Jenny cried herself when she reached her own office.

[knitekat.livejournal.com]

Thanks for the comment, good to know you think the fic works.

[auntypam.livejournal.com]

Poor Lester*huggleshim* Glad Jenny could be there for him. And yes your insight into the trama of Lesters ordeal is brilliant:) can't wait for more

[knitekat.livejournal.com]

Lester needs hugs at the moment. Hope I can handle how he copes OK.. meep, thinking about it.

[telperion-15.livejournal.com]

*wibbles*

I love (is love the right word? Hmmmmmm...) how Jenny so nearly gets through, but then Lester puts his walls back up right at the last moment. Very well handled.

Here's hoping someone can help him...

[knitekat.livejournal.com]

Pets telperion_15, I'm sure everything will be OK.
Jenny did try, but Lester isn't ready to talk just yet.
I've got a few ideas, but the bunnies keep doing u-turns and are presently sulking.

[talliw.livejournal.com]

Heartbreaking, intense and really painful to read how Lester tries to cope with the event and fails.
He isn't ready yet to accept help and Jenny doesn't know what to do to help him.
*huggles them both*

[knitekat.livejournal.com]

Unfortunately James isn't ready to accept he needs help just yet, but I don't think Jenny's going to give up on him, depending what the bunnies decide to do, of course.
Joins you in hugging them.

[nietie.livejournal.com]

Poor Lester, but in a way I'm happy he is able to react at all.
Good for Jenny for trying to talk to him.
*hugs them both*

[knitekat.livejournal.com]

Thanks, I had to have Lester reacting so he has a chance to heal. They both need hugs.

[lukadreaming.livejournal.com]

Waah! The story is so painful and so intense, and the characters are totally believable, with Jenny so nearly getting through to Lester.

[knitekat.livejournal.com]

Thanks, glad you thought it was believable.
Meep for writing more, now, I hope I can keep it true.

[fredbassett]

Poor Lester! It was a valiant effort on Jenny's part, though.

[knitekat.livejournal.com]

Thanks again for the beta. I don't think Jenny could just stand by and watch without trying to help.