knitekat: (Lester: down but not out)
[personal profile] knitekat

Title: And I Am Not A Saint

Author: knitekat

Word Count: ~2300

Characters: James Lester, Connor Temple.

Rating: 18

Disclaimer: Primeval belongs to Impossible Pictures. Certainly not me. Writing for fun and will replace.

Warning: angst, first-time.

A/N: Thanks to Luka for the beta, cheers m'dear.



Lester sighed softly as he watched Connor and his disaster-causing creatures chase each other around his flat. What had ever possessed him to offer Connor a place to stay? He could have just thrown the boy out of the ARC. He should have.

But Lester knew why; the boy had almost died, and Lester had felt fear for his employee. Fear and something else, something more, more than Lester had been happy to think about too deeply. He had just known he couldn't leave Connor squatting at the ARC, that the Health and Safety guidelines rubbish he had spouted had only been an excuse.

As one of the creatures crashed into a table, sending it flying and scattering the paperwork on it, Lester heard Connor's gulp. “I'm sorry, Lester. I'm sorry. I'll tidy it up, honest. You'll never know it happened.”

Lester's breath caught when he met Connor's puppy-dog eyes and a certain part of his anatomy showed interest. Lester quickly covered his slip by growling out, “Get them caged, now.” He spun towards his room, forcing himself not to run as he added, “I'm going to bed, don't wake me up.”

*****

Lester slipped away from the reception to stand on the balcony looking out over the city. He leaned his elbows on the railing and let his mind wander as he half-listened to the music that carried out to him through the open door. He groaned as he found his thoughts turning to earlier that evening. Connor had sounded so eager when he had asked if he could be Lester's plus one. Why on earth the boy would want to go to a stuffy reception was beyond Lester - although he now recalled Connor's expression when he'd rejected the boy.

Lester closed his eyes as he replayed that scene over and over in his mind. He must be mistaken. He must be. Connor couldn't have been upset that Lester hadn't agreed to him accompanying him here. Lester pursed his lips as his thoughts continued. Maybe Connor had just wanted to come to the Chinese embassy, to look around and brag he'd been inside. Yes. That must have been it. It was nothing to do with Lester, Connor just wanted to see the embassy. Lester was surprised to feel disappointed with that revelation. He had had rather too much to drink tonight and was feeling maudlin, that was all.

*****

Lester found his emotions concerning Connor, like the pounding headache from his hangover, hadn't faded in the sober light of day. He couldn't continue like this, he'd say something, do something and Connor would find out. The boy would be horrified, he'd blab it to ... to someone, Abby or even worse, to Quinn. Lester couldn't risk that. He just couldn't.

The post-it notes were an attempt to keep Connor away, perhaps to even drive the boy from his flat. The kicked-puppy expression on Connor's face when he had first spotted those notes had almost had Lester tear them down and apologise. But he couldn't. He just couldn't. He needed the distance those notes gave him.

The sight that had met Lester when he'd returned to the flat that evening had been a kick in the teeth. Connor had taped off part of the flat and had put all of his belongings inside it. Connor himself was curled up shivering as he slept in a chair.

Lester closed his eyes. This wasn't what was supposed to have happened. If he had thought himself capable of the feat, Lester would have carried Connor to the boy's bed. Instead, Lester dragged the duvet from the spare bed and gingerly placed it around Connor's thin shoulders, tucking it in around the boy.

This was not working. And, for once in his life, Lester discovered he had no idea what to do about the situation he now found himself in.

*****

Lester groaned softly as he woke and rolled over in his bed, straight onto a wet spot. Fuck! He hadn't had a wet dream in years, and he knew the source of his night-time problem was only down the hall. Lester flopped against his pillow and stared at the ceiling. He should never have allowed Connor into his life, but it was now too late to do anything about it.

Dragging himself out of his bed and into the shower, Lester closed his eyes as he let the warm water flow over him. He needed to get a grip on this situation with Connor. Fuck! As his cock twitched and slowly filled, Lester realised that was not a good word to use in connection with Connor.

Lester sighed as his head thumped back against the wall. He couldn't eat his breakfast in the same room as Connor if he was sporting an erection. He'd no doubt scare and scar the boy for life if he did.

Sliding a hand down his stomach, Lester curled it around himself and lost himself in the slip and slide of his hand, his thumb teasing his sensitive tip. His mind free to wander, Lester found himself not thinking about his ex-wife or a former girlfriend as he wanked, but instead he came hard to the image of Connor.

Lester slumped against the shower wall. What the fuck was he going to do about whatever it was he had for Connor?

*****

Drinking his coffee, Lester glanced up as Connor entered the kitchen. His eyes kept shifting from the paper he was trying to read to Connor as the boy ate his breakfast. When Lester realised he was staring at Connor, he hastily looked back at his paper, but soon found himself once more engrossed in Connor.

Connor shifted his chair back and shot Lester a curious look. “Lester?”

“Yes?” Lester asked with a snap to his voice.

Connor quickly looked away as he said. “Can I have a shower?”

Lester blinked; he had been so sure the boy was going to say something else. “Of course.”

Watching Connor walk away and hearing the shower sent a shiver of longing down Lester's back. Knowing that Connor was in the shower, soaping himself, possibly wanking, did Lester's self-control no good whatsoever. He had to get a grip on his feelings and do something about them. Throwing Connor out was the only option. Yet, Lester found himself reluctant to do so. Connor obviously had nowhere else to go. He'd never have been in the ARC, never have accepted Lester's offer, if he had had another alternative.

*****

Lester swallowed as Connor bent over, his shirt riding up to reveal soft skin. Skin Lester wanted to touch, wanted to taste. He licked his lips before tearing his eyes from the younger man. Connor was his employee and more importantly, he was a man. Another man and Lester was not gay. He wasn't. It really didn't matter how many wet dreams he had about Connor, they changed nothing. No doubt he was so sex-starved that anybody would have caused him to react. Yes. That was it, he was simply sex-starved and Connor was the nearest person to him. Lester nodded; that must be it.

*****

Lester growled with frustration when he entered the kitchen and found Connor with his arse wiggling once again in the air as he tried to tempt one of his bloody creatures out. Bloody hell, that boy would try the patience of a saint.

Connor looked up and smiled as he saw the way Lester was staring at him. He slowly stood up and swayed his way over to Lester. His fingertips grazing Lester's cheek, he asked. “Do you want me, James?”

Lester swallowed hard as he leaned into the caress. As Connor's fingers stroked his skin, as Connor licked his lips, Lester's control broke and he nodded. After all, he wasn't a saint and he did have his limits.

Grinning widely, Connor added, “Than take me.” He pressed against Lester and kissed him hard.

With a little sigh, Lester pulled Connor against him as he deepened the kiss. He reluctantly broke it and licked his lips as if he was seeking Connor's taste.

“James?”

As Lester looked up into Connor's desire-filled eyes he suddenly realised what he was doing and who he was doing it with. He pushed Connor away and took a step back himself.

Connor sounded so lost and confused. “What's wrong? I thought you wanted to do this?”

“I do. I ...” Lester ran a hand through his hair. “I ... I've never done it.” At Connor's amazed expression, he added. “Not with a man.”

“Oh.” A wide smile spread across Connor's face. “Let me show you.” He grabbed Lester's hand and sucked on one of his fingers. As Connor swirled his tongue around the pad, Lester groaned and bucked against him.

“Connor!”

“You'll enjoy it. I promise you, you'll enjoy it. Just let me show you.” Connor leaned in for a kiss, pressing against Lester as his hand dropped down to Lester's groin.

Lester moaned as he kissed back, the sensations and need overriding everything else.

Connor pushed Lester back until his knees met the settee and he found himself sitting on it with a lap full of Connor. Lester groaned as Connor squirmed on his lap, rubbing against him as they shared lazy, open-mouthed kisses.

Lester was only partly aware as Connor insinuated a hand inside his trousers and eased Lester's cock free. He whimpered as Connor slithered from his lap and licked him. It felt incredible as Connor's tongue, teeth and mouth took Lester towards bliss.

He moaned in loss when Connor's mouth left him and eagerly kissed Connor as the boy straddled his lap again and his hands grasped Connor's arse.

Lester pulled free of those intoxicating lips and swallowed. “Connor?” Although he didn't move his hands from the soft, silky naked skin they were on.

Connor grinned. “I want you inside me.” Lester gulped when Connor added, “I need you inside me.”

Lester's head fell back as Connor's lips nuzzled him; he needed this too. “Please, Connor.”

Grinning widely, Connor manoeuvred until Lester could feel the head of his cock press against something. It took him a moment to realise it was Connor's entrance and that they were really going to do this. “Connor. Wait.”

Connor pouted at him. “Please, trust me James.” His fingers nimbly undid Lester's shirt before stroking across the exposed skin, through the scattering of hair towards a nipple. Lowering his head, Connor began to suck on a nipple as his fingers played with the other. He sucked harder as Lester groaned deeply and his hips bucked upwards.

“Connor. Please.”

Lester shivered and moaned softly as Connor released his nipple and blew warm air over it.

“Do you want to fuck me?”

All of Lester's doubts fled as Connor's lips returned to sucking him, his teeth grazing the nipple. All he wanted was... “Yes.”

Connor slowly pressed down and Lester gasped as his cock was encased in a warm, throbbing constriction. It felt so bloody good. It felt even better when Connor lifted up and pressed back down again, riding Lester in a way his ex-wife had never liked. It felt so bloody good that Lester knew he wouldn't last long. He didn't care. This being inside Connor was pure bliss. He could get used to the feeling.

Feeling his balls tighten, Lester gasped out, “Connor, I'm going to ...” He didn't finish his sentence as Connor squeezed around him and Lester groaned as he came over and over again, spurting into that lovely arse.

Lester collapsed against his settee in a boneless mass as he watched Connor ride him through half-open eyes. The look on Connor's face as he neared orgasm was beautiful. Lester decided he'd love to see that look again. And again.

Connor's head fell back as his breath came in gasps. His hips were pistoning hard as he sought his own completion. He cried out as he came, shooting over Lester's belly and chest, and over his own. Connor slumped forward to rest his head on Lester's shoulder. “OK, James?”

Lester nodded, biting back a sigh as Connor moved and he slipped from his new lover's arse. “Connor?”

“Yes?” Connor sounded slightly worried.

“Can we use a bed next time?”

Connor grinned and kissed him. “Sure. Although showers are good too.” His grin turned somewhat naughty. “And desks.”

“What have I got myself into?”

“Me.”

Lester grinned back at Connor's infectious grin. “I never thought it would feel so...”

“Amazing?” Connor grinned, “You felt bloody amazing to have inside me.” Connor's fingers spread his come over Lester's stomach. “We're sticky. How about a shower?

Lester chuckled, “You do realise you'll be bloody lucky to get another rise out of me tonight.”

Connor pouted, “I can always try.”

“Do you ... um ...?”

Connor frowned slightly, “Do I what?”

Lester looked away from his lover and blushed, “Fuck men?”

“I think I just have.”

“No. I mean...” Lester sighed, “God, this isn't a conversation I ever imagined having.”

“James?”

“I mean, do you do what I did? Fucked a man with your cock?”

Connor nudged Lester until he met Connor's eyes. “I never liked it when I've topped, but... I might be convinced otherwise if you want to try bottoming.”

“I'll think about it.”

“OK. How about that shower?”

Lester eyed the sticky mess that covered him and Connor, “Most definitely.”

Date: 2010-12-19 09:32 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bigtitch.livejournal.com
Oh that's hot and a very nice twist that it's Lester who's the first-timer!

Date: 2010-12-20 11:36 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] knitekat.livejournal.com
Thanks and I'm glad you enjoyed it. It was about time Lester didn't know what he was doing (and Connor did).

Date: 2010-12-19 09:35 pm (UTC)
ext_27141: (Lester Phone)
From: [identity profile] telperion-15.livejournal.com
Mmmmmmmmmm, lovely combination of angst and hotness!

Date: 2010-12-20 11:37 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] knitekat.livejournal.com
Glad you enjoyed it. Angst seems to be my default setting *g*.

Date: 2010-12-19 09:43 pm (UTC)
fredbassett: (Default)
From: [personal profile] fredbassett
Nice to see Connor as the more experienced one for once :)

Date: 2010-12-20 11:38 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] knitekat.livejournal.com
Thanks, I'm sure the poor boy gets fed up not knowing what he's doing *g*

Date: 2010-12-19 09:46 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lukadreaming.livejournal.com
Guh! And I do like conflicted Lester . . . *g*

Date: 2010-12-20 11:39 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] knitekat.livejournal.com
Thanks, so do I. He just went conflicted here and in denial of his attraction to Connor. Thanks again for the beta.

Date: 2010-12-19 09:53 pm (UTC)
thelibraniniquity: (Brad's Ass Approves)
From: [personal profile] thelibraniniquity
I really enjoyed that! Loved Lester being the inexperienced one. What has he got himself into, indeed!

Date: 2010-12-20 11:40 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] knitekat.livejournal.com
Thanks. It was Lester's turn and he is wondering that too (apart from the obvious answer *g*)

Date: 2010-12-19 10:16 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] raptor-moon.livejournal.com
Very nice.

Date: 2010-12-20 11:41 pm (UTC)

Date: 2010-12-19 10:17 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ebonyfeather.livejournal.com
I loved Connor being the decisive, more experienced, one in this. And insecure Lester is rather sweet.

Loved it.

Date: 2010-12-20 11:43 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] knitekat.livejournal.com
It was time for a change, so I'm happy to hear you liked the boys experiences swapped from the normal. Lester out of his comfort zone is always good. Thanks.

Love that icon, btw.

Date: 2010-12-19 10:32 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] deinonychus-1.livejournal.com
mmmm yummy! Connor is a little tease, and very interesting dynamic to have Connor as the confident one for a change.

Date: 2010-12-20 11:44 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] knitekat.livejournal.com
Thanks. I think Connor figured it out and decided he'd have to force the issue. Poor Connor wanted to show he knows what he's doing *nods* Glad you enjoyed the fic.

Date: 2010-12-19 10:38 pm (UTC)
ext_47260: (Default)
From: [identity profile] halftime1030.livejournal.com
Definitely liked InCharge!Connor :)

Lester deserves to be spanked for being so mean to him at the start, though *veg*

Date: 2010-12-20 11:45 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] knitekat.livejournal.com
Thanks, I think Connor did too *g*

Aww, poor Lester was all conflicted and confused by his feelings (plus I don't think he'd agree).

Date: 2010-12-19 10:42 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jooles34.livejournal.com
Please excuse me, too flustered to type.

Date: 2010-12-20 11:46 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] knitekat.livejournal.com
My work is done *nods*

Date: 2010-12-20 12:31 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] canadian-jay.livejournal.com
*flails about and expires happily*

Date: 2010-12-20 11:47 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] knitekat.livejournal.com
*ducks the flailing bird and then revives her*

Glad you liked it.

Date: 2010-12-20 09:04 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] echo-fangirl.livejournal.com
eeeee! omg! I have been requesting and begging and planting bunnies everywhere for weeks for Lester's first time Lester/Connor. eeeee! It's brilliant, you're brilliant, I love it!

Date: 2010-12-20 11:53 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] knitekat.livejournal.com
I'm glad you enjoyed the fic - esp as it is something you've been waiting/begging for. Thanks *blushes*

Date: 2010-12-20 09:42 am (UTC)
fififolle: (Primeval - Connor *faints*)
From: [personal profile] fififolle
Gordon Bennett!!! *flails and dissolves*

That was bloody hot!!! GUH

Very clever the way you explained the notes and the taping off - that is my canon now *g*

Gawd, I need a cold shower now :D
Wonderful fic!

Date: 2010-12-20 11:56 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] knitekat.livejournal.com
*Oops, ducks the flailing and reconstitutes the dissolving fifi*

Thanks, glad you liked the hot.

I never liked that bit in the ep, there was no explanation to it and no reason for it. I prefer this explanation as my canon too.

*don't get too cold*

*blushes* Thanks.

Date: 2011-01-02 05:04 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rusty-armour.livejournal.com
Wow...This is totally hot. I love this insecure Lester who's in denial of his attraction and then convinced it has to be one-sided. I think it's great that you touch on the "plus one" Chinese Embassy invitation and the infamous post-it notes, theorizing that these were both attempts by Lester to distance himself from Connor and erect a kind of barrier between them. Fortunately, even Lester can't remain in perfect control all the time, and Connor catches him staring. It's fun watching a more experienced and confident Connor seduce Lester.

Date: 2011-01-02 09:30 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] knitekat.livejournal.com
Thanks. I wanted to swap the experience over *g* Glad you liked insecure and in denial Lester. The Chinese embassy was fun and I never liked the post-it notes bit in the episode - it just didn't seem like Lester. While, Connor had to seduce someone - and Lester was so much fun to get into this situation. Enjoy your catch up of the fic.

Date: 2011-06-25 12:11 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] talliw.livejournal.com
Connor, the seducer. Lester never did stand a chance against such a force.:)

Date: 2011-06-25 03:06 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] knitekat.livejournal.com
Hee, Connor wasn't even trying in the beginning... although later on he most definitely was. Lester didn't, but he's quite happy with the outcome *nods* Thanks for reading.

Date: 2012-04-29 02:34 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] aunteeneenah.livejournal.com
oooooooooo, Connor takes the lead, I like! Very, very hot. Good job!

Date: 2012-04-29 07:38 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] knitekat.livejournal.com
Hee, Connor was very eager ;) Glad you liked it and thanks for reading.

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