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knitekatTitle: How To Train Your Humans
Author: knitekat
Word Count: 542
Characters: OFC, (Nick Cutter, Stephen Hart)
Rating: 12
Disclaimer: Primeval belongs to Impossible Pictures. Certainly not me. Writing for fun and will replace.
A/N: A bit of crack.
A/N2: Thanks go to Fredbasset for looking at it for me.
My new charges were some of the worse I had ever had the misfortune to encounter. They didn’t even meet the most minimal of standards we feline expect as our due. I knew it would take extreme effort on my part to train them up, but… I felt they had some potential. And if it didn’t work out, there was always that little old lady three doors down – someone I would be visiting even if I stayed here.
I sighed. These charges needed a firm claw and I would do my best. For now, I made a list of the various basic standards I would require, not the full standards I deserved but adequate for now.
Firstly, food. I am used to the food being place before me to conform to certain standards. The muck they originally tried to give me was so disgusting I doubted even a dog would eat it. I turned my nose up at it and groomed myself, showing the disdain I felt for their complete failure. Later, when the taller of the two cooked fresh meat I made my needs clear by twining between his legs and pawing at the odd coverings all humans feel the need to cover themselves in – probably in shame of their furless nature. I was most relieved when I discovered this particular human was responsible for both the provision of food and had a quick mind when it came to figuring out my needs.
Secondly, my own personal entrance. This problem, I was pleased to note, didn’t take long to rectify. A night of yowling and strategically placed claws while they slept had them swiftly leaving the next morning to return with a box. An interesting box that I had great enjoyment with, although I soon lost interest when I realised the taller – and clearly brainier – of the humans had fitted a door to their own. Excellent, now I could enter and leave without having to rely on one of my humans understanding basic feline communication, something my humans struggled with.
Thirdly, that their bed was mine and I only allowed them to sleep there. I yowled the first night the shorter man picked me up and dumped me outside the swiftly closed door. I slipped inside as soon as it reopened and jumped onto the bed, kneading the covers before settling down. It took less than a week for them to admit defeat, even if they still tried to keep their matings private.
It took slightly longer to train them to realise when I required attention and when I wished to be left alone with my thoughts. I found sitting on whatever they were staring at soon encouraged them to stroke me while a well timed swipe of the claws or a soft hiss dissuaded their attention.
Still, I was happy my hard work was paying off – the little old lady was, however, visited as she was a source of tuna. Even better, I was convinced my humans were far happier than when I had first met them and it was, of course, all down to my influence.
Not that I would sit on my laurels, after all, they still had a long way to go before they met my standards.
Author: knitekat
Word Count: 542
Characters: OFC, (Nick Cutter, Stephen Hart)
Rating: 12
Disclaimer: Primeval belongs to Impossible Pictures. Certainly not me. Writing for fun and will replace.
A/N: A bit of crack.
A/N2: Thanks go to Fredbasset for looking at it for me.
My new charges were some of the worse I had ever had the misfortune to encounter. They didn’t even meet the most minimal of standards we feline expect as our due. I knew it would take extreme effort on my part to train them up, but… I felt they had some potential. And if it didn’t work out, there was always that little old lady three doors down – someone I would be visiting even if I stayed here.
I sighed. These charges needed a firm claw and I would do my best. For now, I made a list of the various basic standards I would require, not the full standards I deserved but adequate for now.
Firstly, food. I am used to the food being place before me to conform to certain standards. The muck they originally tried to give me was so disgusting I doubted even a dog would eat it. I turned my nose up at it and groomed myself, showing the disdain I felt for their complete failure. Later, when the taller of the two cooked fresh meat I made my needs clear by twining between his legs and pawing at the odd coverings all humans feel the need to cover themselves in – probably in shame of their furless nature. I was most relieved when I discovered this particular human was responsible for both the provision of food and had a quick mind when it came to figuring out my needs.
Secondly, my own personal entrance. This problem, I was pleased to note, didn’t take long to rectify. A night of yowling and strategically placed claws while they slept had them swiftly leaving the next morning to return with a box. An interesting box that I had great enjoyment with, although I soon lost interest when I realised the taller – and clearly brainier – of the humans had fitted a door to their own. Excellent, now I could enter and leave without having to rely on one of my humans understanding basic feline communication, something my humans struggled with.
Thirdly, that their bed was mine and I only allowed them to sleep there. I yowled the first night the shorter man picked me up and dumped me outside the swiftly closed door. I slipped inside as soon as it reopened and jumped onto the bed, kneading the covers before settling down. It took less than a week for them to admit defeat, even if they still tried to keep their matings private.
It took slightly longer to train them to realise when I required attention and when I wished to be left alone with my thoughts. I found sitting on whatever they were staring at soon encouraged them to stroke me while a well timed swipe of the claws or a soft hiss dissuaded their attention.
Still, I was happy my hard work was paying off – the little old lady was, however, visited as she was a source of tuna. Even better, I was convinced my humans were far happier than when I had first met them and it was, of course, all down to my influence.
Not that I would sit on my laurels, after all, they still had a long way to go before they met my standards.
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no subject
Date: 2024-08-18 07:40 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2024-08-26 05:10 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2024-08-20 03:54 pm (UTC)The Standards of Feline Servants is a very high one.
Best of luck to Cat.
no subject
Date: 2024-08-26 05:21 pm (UTC)Felines have extremely high standards that every servant must meet.
Cat purrs... and points out there is always the old lady up the road.
Thanks for reading and glad you liked it.
no subject
Date: 2024-08-20 09:04 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2024-08-26 05:23 pm (UTC)Glad you liked it and thanks for both reading and the beta.
no subject
Date: 2024-08-24 11:01 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2024-08-26 05:26 pm (UTC)Thanks, glad you liked it.
no subject
Date: 2024-08-25 01:50 pm (UTC)LOL, it's all so true!
no subject
Date: 2024-08-26 05:25 pm (UTC)Thanks for reading.
no subject
Date: 2024-09-05 08:24 pm (UTC)Of course they need more training, the Boss is right and wise about having a back-up plan on the old lady *g*
no subject
Date: 2024-09-08 10:20 pm (UTC)Yep, but the Boss will sort them out and will be visiting the old lady anyway.
Glad you liked it and thanks for reading. *purrs*