knitekat: (Lester: down but not out)
[personal profile] knitekat

Title: Endings and Beginnings (2/6)

Author: knitekat

Word Count: ~2480 in this part (~21500 words in total).

Characters: Claudia Brown, Nick Cutter, Mr Harrison (OC), James Lester, Abby Maitland, David 'Ditzy' Owen (OC), Connor Temple.

Pairings: James Lester/Abby Maitland, James Lester/David 'Ditzy' Owen.

Rating: 18

Disclaimer: Not mine, no money and will replace. Ditzy belongs to the wonderful Fredbasset.

Warning (for all parts): Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Het, Slash.

A/N: Thanks to the wonderful Fred for the beta. Part 1b Part 3.



Abby sniffled in Ditzy's arms, exhaustion finally having won in her fight to stay awake. Ditzy sighed softly as they waited for news, any news. He wondered if he should inform Miss Brown of developments. He hesitated, unwilling to call when he had nothing to report. Nothing but bad news and no updates.

A soft knock on the door had Ditzy looking up, hope and fear warring in his heart at the sight of Mr Harrison. The consultant's expression gave nothing away to Ditzy as he gently shook Abby's shoulder.

“Ugh, another 20 minutes.”

“Abby? Mr Harrison is here.”

Abby shot awake at that, wide eyes staring at the consultant, fear evidence in her every fibre. “How's James?”

Harrison's smile was well practised. “James' operation went as well as can be expected.”

Abby closed her eyes and whimpered, clutching Ditzy's hand hard enough to make him wince.

“What do you mean? What did you find?” Ditzy tried his best to sound calm and in control. Abby needed him to be strong, even if what he wanted to do most was scream and shout at the unfairness of it all, now that he might – now that she did – finally have James, they couldn't lose him, not now.

“The MRI scan showed a mass in James' brain. It was the most likely cause of the headaches and the other symptoms he described to me.”

“What symptoms?” Ditzy's voice was sharp. What symptoms had I missed? Could I have got James here earlier? Before he collapsed?

Harrison flicked through the notes in his hand. “Since James has listed both of you, and a Miss Claudia Brown, as his next of kin, I...”

“He did what?” Abby couldn't keep the disbelief out of her voice.

“You aren't his next of kin?”

Ditzy and Abby exchanged a look, before Abby managed. “We're his lovers; well, Miss Brown isn't, she's his deputy.” She ignored Ditzy's look of surprise as she named him as one of James' lovers.

Harrison took that revelation in his stride. “When James arrived, we gave him a full physical and neurological examination. The symptoms we diagnosed and that he informed us about were ...” He scanned his notes again. “Yes. Headaches that woke him in the night and were increasing in intensity and duration; nausea and vomiting; vertigo and loss of balance; problems with his eye-hand coordination; difficulty in reading and finding the correct words, drowsiness and seizures where he lost time.”

“And this mass caused them? And the unconsciousness? But James will be OK now it's gone, won't he?” Abby's voice sounded so small as she sought hope. Any hope.

“All the symptoms were caused by the mass putting increasing pressure on James' temporal and parietal lobes.”

“What's the prognosis?” Ditzy decided to cut to the chase. All this discussion and going around the houses wasn't doing either Abby or himself any good.

“The neurosurgeons are confident that they've removed the entire mass and a biopsy has been sent to our labs for testing. Once we know exactly what type of tumour we are dealing with we can organise whatever follow up treatment is advisable.”

Ditzy slowly nodded. “Chemotherapy or radiotherapy you mean. James had a brain tumour.”

“Cancer?” Abby clung to Ditzy's hand. “Will James be ... will it come back?”

“Once we know the results from the biopsy we will know what we are dealing with and the chances of it re-growing or anything else we can expect to deal with.”

“It might come back?” Abby's guts twisted in fear as she wished it was a physical enemy she could kick and punch.

“It is possible. Some tumours keep reoccurring even after complete removal. They do tend to be the benign sort.” Harrison sighed. “However, whatever type it is, James will require regular check ups and scans for the rest of his life.” At Abby's expression, he added, “As a precautionary measure.”

Ditzy nodded. “We'll make sure he gets them.”

“There is one more point.” Harrison paused. “It is possible, due to the tumour itself or the surgery to remove it, that he might have brain damage.” Harrison paused for a moment, “Although it is unlikely, considering the position of the tumour, I must also warn you that James might never regain consciousness.”

Tears ran down Abby's face as she looked at Harrison in shock. Ditzy didn't feel any better as he asked. “Do you think he will wake up?”

Harrison sighed. “I think the probabilities are that James will regain consciousness, but I'd be failing in my duties if I didn't inform you of the possibility.”

“James should wake up?”

“Yes, Miss Maitland. He should.” Harrison sighed again. “Once James is awake we will be running tests to discover the extent and degree of any damage he may have suffered.”

“Brain damage?”

“It could have been worse, Abby, and we don't know if there is any.”

Abby nodded as she swallowed her fear. She couldn't, wouldn't let James learn how terrified she was. Now she knew it was a possibility, she couldn't help the fear that James would never wake. She needed to see James, to touch him and make sure he was still there, still with them. “Can we see James?”

“Of course.” Harrison raised a hand as Abby shot to her feet, “However, I must first inform you what to expect.”

Abby slowly crumpled into the chair and felt Ditzy squeeze her hand as she quavered, “Expect?”

Harrison nodded. “I know you'd rather be sitting with James, so I'll be brief, although I'm happy to answer any questions you might have.”

“I'm sure we will, but first Abby and I want to see him.”

“Of course. Now, when you see James, please remember that he may be able to hear every word you say. If you have any questions about his care or condition, please talk to us outside the room.” When Abby and Ditzy nodded in agreement, Harrison continued, “As to James' appearance; you do understand he has had major surgery?” Seeing them nod again, Harrison continued, “He is, currently, on a ventilator to help his recovery, but we expect to wean him off it shortly. He is also connected to a number of monitoring devices and tubes, including an IV drip. I should warn you that some of these are connected to his head, but they are entirely normal for the operation James has undergone, so please try not be alarmed by them.”

As Abby was looking rather pale by this stage, Ditzy nodded. “Anything else before we can see James?”

“No, please don't be alarmed by James' appearance, he really is in the best of hands.”

*****

Abby stopped dead in the doorway when she saw Lester. He lay so still and pale and all she wanted to do was run as far and as fast as she could. To pretend it was all a terrible nightmare and that everything would be fine once she awoke from it.

Although Harrison had warned her, Abby still felt nauseous at the sight of those tubes coming out of the dressing that covered part of Lester's scalp and which drained into bags beside his bed. Her eyes took in the ventilator and the other tubes that she could see, a tube inserted into his nose and an IV drip. She didn't want to think about the other tubes and wires that were connected to her lover. He didn't look like the man she had fallen in love with, instead he seemed so small and frail.

Ditzy pushed her into the room and pressed her down into the chair. Reaching out he placed one of Lester's limp hands into Abby's. “Stay with James. I need to phone Miss Brown.” At Abby's confused look, Ditzy sighed. “She needs to know about James.”

*****

Nick grinned when Claudia entered the meeting unusually late. He was about to make a comment when he realised she was looking worried and preoccupied. Her red eyes made it clear she had recently been crying and Nick stood up and wrapped his arms around her. “Claudia? What's happened?”

Claudia rested her head against Nick for a moment as she allowed her lover to comfort her. Taking a deep, steadying breath, she pulled back and swiped her face, smudging her mascara. “Sir James is in hospital. He was having tests when he collapsed and started convulsing.”

Nick swore softly. “But he's OK?”

Claudia shook her head before shrugging helplessly, her voice strained as she replied. “He fell unconscious and they had to perform emergency surgery on him, Nick.” She paused to swallow, her mouth suddenly dry with fear. “They have removed a tumour from his brain.”

“Fuck!”

Claudia swallowed several times before she could continue. “He's still unconscious.” Her voice almost cracked. “Abby and Ditzy are waiting for the results on the tumour.”

“Claudia?”

Meeting Nick's eyes, Claudia own eyes were full of worry. “Hopefully James will be fine.” She sighed. “But there is a chance it could be highly aggressive ... if it is ...” Her voice finally broke and Claudia half-sobbed, “James might only have months ... or less.”

Nick took Claudia in his arms again as he sought to comfort her. “You know Lester. He's too bloody stubborn to give up.”

Connor cursed softly. He gave them a slightly guilty look at their querying expressions. “Abby's got a crush on Lester.”

Claudia managed a half-smile. “So that's why she was so happy to have him stay as her place?”

Connor nodded. “She was hoping to see if he was interested now he's available. She thought the migraine gave her the chance. But ...” He shrugged helplessly, his voice bitter, “It wasn't a migraine was it? It was a bloody tumour.”

Claudia squeezed Connor's shoulder and said with far more confidence than she felt. “No need to assume the worst, Connor. I'm sure James will be fine.”

*****

Nick knocked on the door that one of the nurses had directed them to. They were shocked when it was opened by a worried and obviously recently crying Abby, who flew into Connor's arms and hugged him hard. Connor awkwardly patted Abby's back and gave Claudia a scared look.

Claudia nodded before she cautiously entered the room and smiled in relief when she saw Lester sleeping peacefully, although the amount of equipment connected to him worried her sick. Poor Abby, she must be so scared.

Claudia carefully approached until she was next to the bed and raised her gaze to Ditzy. Her voice quiet, she asked, “Have you got the results back?”

Ditzy's eyes remained fixed on Lester's face for a moment before he looked up at Claudia. He pressed the call button and when the nurse entered, he said, “Please can you stay with James.” Ditzy waved the group out as the nurse began to check Lester's readings.

*****

Ditzy directed everyone into an empty waiting room and sat down. “Sorry, but we've been told to assume that James can hear everything we say.”

“Oh. I didn't know. I didn't mean...”

Ditzy smiled, “I know, ma'am. I should have explained over the phone.”

“It's perfectly fine, Ditzy. You have other things on your mind.” Claudia nodded, “Now, please. Why is Abby so upset?”

Ditzy voice was almost steady as he answered. “Some of James' readings were worrying. The pressure inside his skull was increasing. They gave him steroids to bring it back down, but they didn't have an effect. Not enough of one, anyway.” He took a deep steadying breath. “They performed another operation on him to insert a shunt to drain the excess fluid from his brain.” Ditzy swallowed hard before continuing, “It's why Abby's upset. She's afraid of losing James ...” As his voice cracked, Ditzy closed his eyes.

Claudia squeezed his arm as she realised something about the dynamics in Lester's room. Her voice soft, “And you, Lieutenant? Are you worried about losing James?” When Ditzy eyes shot open and he looked at her, his expression confirming her suspicions, Claudia sighed. “So. You're both attracted to James. Does he know?”

Abby managed a half-smile. “Yeah. He knows. David and I have talked about what we'd like to do, but ...” She took a deep breath, “We never got a chance to with James.” The fear she felt for Lester flashed across her face.

Connor exchanged a helpless look with Nick. No matter how much Lester was a pain in the arse, he was their pain in the arse. Connor wanted him back, and not just because his best friend was so worried about him.

Connor rubbed Abby's back. “You know Lester, Abs, he'll be up and around in no time and making our lives difficult as only he can.”

Nick nodded, “Aye, you know Lester. He'll be fine.”

Ditzy gave them all a smile of gratitude, although it faded as he said, “It's not just whether the tumour will return. We don't know if he's suffered brain damage or ...” His voice dropped to a whisper, “or even if he'll wake up.”

“Oh.”

Ditzy sighed, “I never thought James would be interested in me. To possibly lose him before I even get to properly know him.”

Claudia pulled him into a hug, “If you need to talk, David. You or Abby, I'm here for you both”

“Thanks, ma'am. Um. I almost forgot. Sir James named you as his next of kin, along with Abby and myself”

“He did what?” Claudia sighed, “I suppose he wouldn't want to list his ex-wife.”

Nick snorted. “I can understand that feeling.”

Abby looked up sharply. “What about his parents or his brothers and sisters?”

Connor shook his head, “There's no one, Abs. His parents and younger sister died years ago.”

Abby closed her eyes at that, “He's all alone in the world?”

“No, he's not, Abby. He's got you.”

“And you, Ditzy.”

Ditzy shrugged and then took a deep breath, “Shall we go and see James?” As everyone nodded, he added, “Remember he can hear you.”

*****

Sitting in commandeered chairs the subdued group sat around Lester's bed.

Watching.

Waiting.

Listening to the steady bleep bleep bleep.

Watching the steady rise and fall of Lester's chest.

Being able to do nothing but will their stubborn boss back to them.

Date: 2010-09-17 10:02 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lukadreaming.livejournal.com
Eek! That's so tense and angsty. And it's a great image at the end of the team together and gathered around Lester . . .

Date: 2010-09-17 10:09 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] knitekat.livejournal.com
That was fast.

I know, I'm still being mean to Lester. Glad you liked the image of the team around him, whatever they might think of Lester, he is one of them. Thanks for reading.

Date: 2010-09-17 10:14 pm (UTC)
fififolle: (TW - owen hug)
From: [personal profile] fififolle
oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god

“It's why Abby's upset. She's afraid of losing James ...” As his voice cracked, Ditzy closed his eyes.
*wibbles desperately*

oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god oh gooh god oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god oh

Her voice soft, “And you, Lieutenant? Are you worried about losing James?”
*wibbles even more*

Oh please, please make him okay!!!! *begs pathetically*
*wibbles more again*

Date: 2010-09-17 10:23 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] knitekat.livejournal.com
*pets fifi* Mmm, I'm wondering what to say that doesn't spoil the end. *pets fifi again* Lester has got Abby and Ditzy.

Date: 2010-09-17 10:29 pm (UTC)
fififolle: (OMG!! cat)
From: [personal profile] fififolle
*belatedly checks warnings*
Okay, I'm going to trust you on this one.

*clings*
*wibbles*

:D

Date: 2010-09-17 10:35 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] knitekat.livejournal.com
I'm not likely to do that to my boy, but there is a lot of angst and h/c left to come.

Date: 2010-09-17 10:37 pm (UTC)
fififolle: (Primeval - Lester too sexy)
From: [personal profile] fififolle
Just checking!!

Awesome!!!! Love the hurt. *ahem*

Date: 2010-09-17 10:44 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] knitekat.livejournal.com
That is something I would warn about.

Awesome!!!! Love the hurt. *ahem* - poor James, and there I was thinking you were worried about him *beg*

Date: 2010-09-17 10:54 pm (UTC)
fififolle: (Mark Wakeling - dork eeee!)
From: [personal profile] fififolle
Yeah, but I forget to read warnings *veg*

I so am!! Will he be in a coma? *drools* *ahem*

Date: 2010-09-17 10:58 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] knitekat.livejournal.com
I tend to be good about reading warnings (not that anythings put me off so far).

I'll believe you *g* You'll start to find out on Friday. Have fun with Ditzy *g*

Date: 2010-09-17 11:25 pm (UTC)
fififolle: (Primeval - Ditzy body)
From: [personal profile] fififolle
Rrrrrr, I so will.

*dives in*

Date: 2010-09-18 09:30 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] knitekat.livejournal.com
*ponders the wisdom of lending Ditzy to fifi*

Date: 2010-09-20 10:35 am (UTC)
fififolle: (Primeval - Ditzy (munchkin indus))
From: [personal profile] fififolle
*stays very, very quiet in case she takes him back*

Date: 2010-09-20 09:58 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] knitekat.livejournal.com
*I have kat ears and can hear you*

*If you're very, very good you can keep him for now, but I want him back in good time for Friday (and well-rested *eg*)*

Date: 2010-09-21 04:41 pm (UTC)
fififolle: (Primeval - Ditzy body)
From: [personal profile] fififolle
Rested??? What bloody good is that???? *howls laughing*

Date: 2010-09-21 09:54 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] knitekat.livejournal.com
*hee* I thought I'd get that type of response *bg*

Date: 2010-09-23 08:18 pm (UTC)
fififolle: (Primeval - Ditzy (young))
From: [personal profile] fififolle
Reluctantly returns one Ditzy in fine form. *sigh*

Date: 2010-09-23 09:17 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] knitekat.livejournal.com
Ta much. Part 3 will be up tomorrow. *pets fifi*

Date: 2010-09-17 10:55 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] canadian-jay.livejournal.com
*flees to Knitekat and clings* Make it better! Make it better! *whimpers*

More coherently: This is brilliant. That final few lines are beautiful. And .... LESTER! Abby! Ditzy! *clings more and snivels*

Date: 2010-09-17 11:03 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] knitekat.livejournal.com
*I appear to have a frantic birdie clinging to me (meow)* You will start to find the answer to that next Friday. *pets the birdie*

Thanks for the kind (and coherent) comment. *passes a tissue* Don't worry (well, too much)

Date: 2010-09-17 11:52 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] talliw.livejournal.com
That was well written and especially because that hard for me to read because it is triggering memories I prefer to keep buried in the far recesses of my mind. I'm sorry that I have to drop out of the story.

Date: 2010-09-18 09:32 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] knitekat.livejournal.com
Ah, sorry about that. It is quite understandable so no apology necessary. Hope it hasn't reminded you too much about it. Take care.

Date: 2010-09-18 01:48 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rusty-armour.livejournal.com
Oh, wow. You really don't pull any punches, do you? *g* It's great the way you keep building up the suspense. While we now know that Lester had a tumour in his brain, we don't know if he'll wake up or be suffering from brain damage. I'm impressed by the amount of medical details you've provided, not to mention the varying emotional reactions from the people close to Lester. I loved seeing Nick feel actual compassion when he heard the news. I was really happy to see him join Connor and Claudia at the hospital and be part of that silent vigil at the end.

Date: 2010-09-18 09:37 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] knitekat.livejournal.com
Glad you liked it. I just think if you're dealing with something like this, you should be as accurate as possible. I was worried it was information overload (hence some being in the next part), so glad it wasn't too much. I've been worried about this fic because it is dealing with RL things, and I didn't want to make mistakes or lessen the fear when you hear those words.
I'm also glad Nick, Connor and Claudia worked, and that last scene.

Date: 2010-09-18 03:53 pm (UTC)
ext_27141: (Abby)
From: [identity profile] telperion-15.livejournal.com
Oh, the angst! It's almost too intense!

But not really... ;)
Edited Date: 2010-09-18 03:54 pm (UTC)

Date: 2010-09-18 09:38 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] knitekat.livejournal.com
Thanks for reading, the angst continues next part, so I hope you continue to like the fic.

Date: 2010-09-19 01:13 pm (UTC)
fredbassett: (Default)
From: [personal profile] fredbassett
Oh ouch, poor James. I loved the way you've dealt with everyone's reactions here. The responses of the team are coming over beautifully.

Date: 2010-09-19 09:44 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] knitekat.livejournal.com
I know, I'm being mean to James. Glad you think the reactions work, I wasn't sure about them. Thanks for the comment and the beta, it is much appreciated.

Date: 2010-09-19 06:30 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] reggietate.livejournal.com
I kind of thought it might be something like that. Poor James. But he's got good people rooting for him, he'll make it.

Date: 2010-09-19 09:46 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] knitekat.livejournal.com
It wasn't supposed to be, but the bunny demanded that I was mean to James.

Date: 2011-08-11 12:44 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] phoebezu.livejournal.com
"No matter how much Lester was a pain in the arse, he was their pain in the arse."

I love Lester and Connor even when the fic is not about them as a couple! :)

As you may have noticed, I'm surfing your LJ, reading all these lovely old fic with Lester in them! :D

Date: 2011-08-11 07:27 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] knitekat.livejournal.com
Thanks, Connor has a bigger role in a later part of this fic.

Hee, you might be here for some time ;)

Date: 2011-08-11 09:48 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] darkhorse-99.livejournal.com
That was angsy. Total Lester whoompage.

Date: 2011-08-12 08:59 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] knitekat.livejournal.com
*nods* Poor Lester suffered for this fic ;) Thanks for reading.

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