knitekat: (Lester: down but not out)
[personal profile] knitekat
Title: Not His World
Author: knitekat
Word Count: ~670
Characters: Nick Cutter
Rating: 12
Disclaimer: Primeval belongs to Impossible Pictures. Certainly not me. Writing for fun and will replace.
A/N 1: Birthday fic for Lsellersfic and her prompt from her generator: Nick and firelight. Hope you are having a great day.
A/N 2: Thanks go to Fifi for the beta, cheers m'dear.
A/N 3: This is also for my Primeval bingo card prompt: Introspection.


Nick lit his fire and poured himself a tumbler of Scotch before he sat in a chair he knew he'd never bought but had... in this world. He hadn't turned the lights on, he didn't want to see the evidence of a life he'd never lived and the flickering firelight helped to hide the differences that the strong, bright lights would strip of their concealing shadows.

He pulled out a crumpled photo of himself and Claudia and just stared at it in the flickering light cast by the fire. He sighed before raising his glass in a silent toast to Claudia and to Ryan, to all those he had known. To all those whose lives had been re-written by whatever had happened in the past, by whatever corruption of time letting the future predators loose in the past had caused.

It had been bad enough that he'd returned through the anomaly to report that Ryan and his men weren't coming home, but then to suffer the double blow of learning Stephen – a man Nick had relied on after Helen's disappearance – had actually lied to him about their friendship coupled with the disappearance of Claudia Brown – a woman he had grown fond of... more than fond of – had been a hammer blow.

He knew the rest of the team thought he'd lost it and Nick supposed grabbing Lester by his lapels and ranting about Claudia hadn't helped, that or almost falling over in his realisation that they'd changed the present by changing the past. Connor was the only one willing to listen to him and... well, as much as Connor was a good kid, he was a conspiracy geek and Nick remembered far too well the thesis the lad had submitted about the origin of life due to alien intervention.

In the past, he would have talked to Stephen... Nick gulped a mouthful of Scotch. Bloody hell, how could he ever trust the man again? He had trusted Stephen in his darkest moments, when he drank himself into a stupor almost every night and only Stephen's intervention had probably prevented his death more than once... but now, how could he trust him now? How many other lies had Stephen told over the years? Why had he stayed with Nick? To find out what had happened to Helen? Out of some sense of guilt over the affair? Nick didn't know and didn't ask, he couldn't trust himself not to punch Stephen if he didn't like the answer. So he'd told Stephen he'd forgiven him but it was a lie... another lie, had their whole relationship been built on nothing but lies? Sometimes he forgot and they interacted as they used to and then Nick remembered the lies... how could he trust someone who had lied to him for so long?

He wished he still had Claudia to talk to... and that was another thing this world had thrown at him. Jenny Lewis had appeared in his life, the spitting image of Claudia yet so different. Every time he turned and saw her, he thought for a moment that it was Claudia and then every time the truth hit him again. That he had lost her and he was never getting her back.

Nick stared at the fire flickering in the grate as he downed the rest of his Scotch. He knew there was no way back to his own world, that he would be stuck here in this... new world. One where the similarities only made the differences so much more noticeable. Nick sighed, he could continue to wallow in the past, in what might have been, or he could move on, find himself a place in this new world and be a part of it.

He tossed down the remainder of his drink before nodding, what mattered was what he did now and he was not a quitter. He would do his job, he would find a way forward and somehow, he would make this altered life his own.

Date: 2013-11-24 01:18 pm (UTC)
fredbassett: (Default)
From: [personal profile] fredbassett
Nice reflective look at the changes from Nick's POV.

Date: 2013-11-24 07:25 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] knitekat.livejournal.com
Good to know it worked.

Thanks for reading and commenting.

Date: 2013-11-24 03:20 pm (UTC)
fififolle: (Primeval - "too old for this s***" Nick)
From: [personal profile] fififolle
Loved the way the firelight hid the differences in the house. Lovely bittersweet fic :)

Date: 2013-11-24 07:27 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] knitekat.livejournal.com
Glad the firelight worked well. *nods* Poor Nick wasn't happy about the changes, but I'm sure he'd make the most of it.

Thanks for reading and for the beta.

Date: 2013-11-24 04:36 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lukadreaming.livejournal.com
This is really evocative, and I like the firelight image. And it works very well in Nick's point of view.

Date: 2013-11-24 07:27 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] knitekat.livejournal.com
*blushes* Glad you think so and that the firelight works. *nods* Nick seemed the best choice for the idea.

Thanks for reading.

Date: 2013-11-24 07:26 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lsellersfic.livejournal.com
Aww! Poor Nick! I do feel very sorry for him. Thank you so much for this!

Date: 2013-11-24 07:28 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] knitekat.livejournal.com
*nods* I do too, poor Nick had so many shocks to get used to.

Glad you liked it and you're very welcome. Hope you've had a great day.

Date: 2013-11-24 07:59 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] reggietate.livejournal.com
We don't get much of Nick's feelings about the alterations in his life, so this was great :-)

Date: 2013-11-24 08:32 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] knitekat.livejournal.com
True and I'm sure he must have spent time thinking about it. Good to know it worked and thanks for reading.

Date: 2013-11-25 01:29 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dreamer-98.livejournal.com
Very nice look at Nick's thoughts and emotions after coming back. A great hopeful ending too; he never did give up.

Date: 2013-11-25 09:07 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] knitekat.livejournal.com
Good to know it worked. Nick never would give up.

Thanks for reading.

Date: 2013-11-25 08:41 pm (UTC)
cordeliadelayne: ([primeval] abby maitland)
From: [personal profile] cordeliadelayne
Lovely fic. Poor Nick.

Date: 2013-11-25 09:08 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] knitekat.livejournal.com
Glad you liked it. Poor Nick will get there.

Thanks for reading.

Date: 2019-01-13 10:47 pm (UTC)
goldarrow: (Default)
From: [personal profile] goldarrow
Nice introspection from Nick's POV.

I sometimes wonder whether the Stephen in Nick's original timeline had actually had the affair with Helen, or whether it was just this timeline's Stephen...

Date: 2019-01-14 08:30 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] knitekat.livejournal.com
Glad you liked it.

Hmm, now that could be interesting to see in a fic... possibly one where Stephen crosses over to the 'new' verse and gets very confused by everything. *pokes*

Date: 2019-01-14 08:39 pm (UTC)
goldarrow: (Default)
From: [personal profile] goldarrow
I did do sort of that in the Timeline!Stephen series - the 'other' Stephen did have the affair, but he confessed at the time, so when 'this' Stephen arrived, he was kicking himself for not having told. :)

But it could make for some great confusion if the `other` had never done it at all...

Date: 2019-01-14 08:41 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] knitekat.livejournal.com
I will have to re-read that. Out of curiousity, which one is 'other' and which is 'this'?

Definitely.

Date: 2019-01-14 08:46 pm (UTC)
goldarrow: (Default)
From: [personal profile] goldarrow
The 'other' is the deceased one, who originally lived in the timeline 'this' Stephen moved to.

Date: 2019-01-14 08:48 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] knitekat.livejournal.com
So, the 'other' is S2 and 'this' is S1 Stephen?

Which would make 'other' (S2) Stephen very confused over Helen revealing the affair-that-never-happened.
Edited Date: 2019-01-14 08:50 pm (UTC)

Date: 2019-01-14 08:53 pm (UTC)
goldarrow: (Default)
From: [personal profile] goldarrow
Not really.

In the Timeline! series, the Stephen who is the protagonist was pulled out of the cage room by Helen, so he was an S2 Stephen, who went through all the problems with Cutter, etc. that had been in the show.

The Stephen he replaced when he ended up in the new timeline was also an S2 Stephen, but that Stephen had confessed to Cutter about the affair when it happened, and had been forgiven years ago. (That Stephen had died in the bunker, but not by sacrificing himself).

Hope that helps clear it up! :) The multiverse idea can get crazy!

Date: 2019-01-18 09:17 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] knitekat.livejournal.com
Ah, I think I was talking in general, not re Timelines - and I need to read it again.

Date: 2019-01-14 09:01 pm (UTC)
goldarrow: (Default)
From: [personal profile] goldarrow
*g* In that scenario (for the edited comment), it certainly would!

Date: 2019-01-18 09:18 pm (UTC)

Date: 2019-01-14 06:43 pm (UTC)
fredbassett: (Default)
From: [personal profile] fredbassett
I really like this, particularly the bit at the beginning about him sitting in a chair he hadn't bought.

Date: 2019-01-14 08:47 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] knitekat.livejournal.com
*bows* Nick had to recognise the things he had/hadn't brought. I would think it would bring home to him all the other changes.

Thanks for reading.

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