Primeval fic: Endings and Beginnings (4/6)

[knitekat]

Title: Endings and Beginnings (4/6)

Author: knitekat

Word Count: ~3380 in this part (~21500 words in total).

Characters: Claudia Brown, Nick Cutter, Mr Harrison (OC), James Lester, Abby Maitland, Moira (OC), David 'Ditzy' Owen (OC), Connor Temple

Pairings: James Lester/Abby Maitland, James Lester/David 'Ditzy' Owen.

Rating: 18

Disclaimer: Not mine, no money and will replace. Ditzy belongs to the wonderful Fredbassett.

Warning (for all parts): Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Het, Slash.

A/N: Thanks to the ever-wonderful Fred for the beta. Part 3 Part 5

Lester glared angrily at the nurse who held his bowl in one hand and a spoon in the other.

“Please, James.”

Abby knocked on the door as she asked, “Afternoon. Hi, James, how are you today?”

The nurse smiled at her. “I'm afraid James doesn't want me to feed him.”

Lester scowled at the nurse. “I've been feeding myself since I was two.”

Abby sighed and held out her hands for James' lunch. “Let me try.”

Once the nurse had left the room, Lester reached towards the bowl only to have Abby step out of his reach. His eyebrow arched as he opened his mouth before closing it. A look of frustration soon took over from the concentration, and Lester glared at Abby. “You! Give me the thing.”

“Mr Harrison says you're not to over do it, love.”

*****

Ditzy entered the room and stopped. Abby was sitting on the side of the bed with a bowl in one hand and a spoon in the other. Lester was sitting propped up in his bed with a stubborn look on his face and his arms folded.

“Come on, James. Open up and eat this.”

Lester rolled his eyes. “I'm perfectly capable of feeding myself.”

“Are you? You're still weak, sir.” Ditzy squeezed Lester's arm. “The staff here don't want you to tire yourself out and put back your recovery.” He leant forward to brush a kiss across Lester's forehead and whispered, “Abby's been so scared for you, sir, let her look after you.”

Lester eventually gave in with ill grace. “Any... any...” He shook his head before sighing, “Any things in air that people go on or things that move on lines and you can forget it.”

******

Luckily for everyone sake, it hadn't taken long for Lester to convince the nurses that he was capable of that task. Although seeing him struggle to control the spoon was almost heartbreaking and it was Ditzy's opinion that Lester had just worn the nursing staff down with a mixture of tantrums and his way with words, even if he couldn't always find the word he was looking for. At least Lester hadn't noticed their expressions as he'd been too busy concentrating on that once simple, but now exhausting, task.

Struggling with that and other simple tasks had frayed what little patience Lester had with imperfection, his own especially.

Lester was trying to balance his bowl and coordinate the movement of the spoon from the bowl to his mouth. As his concentration wavered for a moment the spoon missed the bowl by several inches. He scowled at it. Taking a deep breath he tried again, this time getting near to the bowl but still missing. After several attempts, Lester was getting agitated and his movements became more and more uncoordinated as his aim began to wander even more.

Abby smiled softly at him. “Do you want me to try, love?”

Lester glared at her, before he threw the bowl at a wall and screamed, “Don't be so fucking understanding.”

Ditzy entered in a rush, in time to see Abby turn away and bow her head as she refused to let Lester see he had upset her. When Ditzy saw the tears that spilled silently down her cheeks, he squeezed her arm in passing as he headed towards Lester's bed. His voice firm yet calm, Ditzy said, “No, James. No screaming.”

When Lester ducked his head and curled up it took all of Ditzy's control not to beg him for forgiveness. Mr Harrison had made it clear that they shouldn't tolerate any unacceptable behaviour from Lester. Instead, Ditzy turned away from him and guided Abby out of Lester's room, his heart heavy as he heard Lester's sniffles. It broke Ditzy's heart to see Lester like this, and he knew Abby felt the same way.

****

Ditzy sat in Lester's room and smiled as he thought about the rest of the team. How they had made up a rota to watch over Lester to make him and Abby take some reluctant time off. Before this had happened, Ditzy had never thought they cared that much about their cantankerous boss. Shows how wrong you can be about people. Lester was spending more and more time awake and his memory had improved in leaps and bounds. Even if his temper hadn't, especially when it came to performing everyday tasks. Ditzy understood that Lester was frustrated over what he considered his lack of progress, especially in his speech, but Ditzy had also noted that the man was improving. Oh, not as fast as his other mental abilities, but there was definite improvement. Enough to give both Ditzy and Abby hope for the future.

The other good thing, from Ditzy point of view, was that concentrating so hard on the simple tasks of eating, talking, walking, dressing and bathing meant that Lester hadn't asked about where he was or what he was doing in hospital. Ditzy dreaded the moment when he'd have to tell Lester, but he also knew he'd do it gladly if it spared Abby the pain. The last few months had been the worst time of his life and he knew it had been far worse for Abby; he had caught her sobbing several times and had just held her until she fallen asleep.

A soft mumble called Ditzy's attention back to his lover. “James?”

“Mmmmm.”

Ditzy smiled. “How do you feel?”

Lester slowly opened his eyes and smiled as well as his eyes slowly focused on Ditzy. “I've been better.” He glanced around the room and his face screwed up in concentration. “Where's um... she... one who was with you earlier? Fierce protector?”

Looking a bit miffed, Ditzy snorted. “What, I'm not good enough for you, sir?”

Rolling his eyes, Lester asked, “So... er.” He thumped the bed in frustration until Ditzy caught his hand.

“Calm down, sir. Remember your lessons.”

Lester took a deep breath as he'd been shown by the speech therapist and exhaled again, repeating the action several times. “Um... you. You.” Lester looked miserable as he pointed at Ditzy, his expression showing he had given up trying to find the words he had been looking for. “Are you going to call me 'sir' when we fuck?” He then gently tugged Ditzy down for a kiss, smirking at his stunned expression. “You were saying?”

Both men heard an appreciative whistle from the doorway, “Well. I was right... you two do look hot together.” Abby squeezed Lester's free hand and was tugged down into a kiss as well. “James... how do you feel?”

Lester smiled at both his lovers. “As I have just told um...” He glanced at Ditzy who nodded encouragingly. “Warm heart... I have been better.” He squeezed their hands. “My, up there...” Lester paused as he tried to find the correct word, before he sighed in defeat. “Up there still hurts and I'm tired.” He frowned at both of his lovers, his head cocked as he looked at them speculatively. “Is there any chance that either of you will tell me why I'm in a...” Lester paused again as he tried to think of the word he wanted, before he sighed, his need to know winning out over his need to find the correct word. “Place that people go to when they are ill? Without the fancy footwork everyone else is doing whenever I ask.”

Ditzy smiled at that response, so much more like the 'old' Lester. He felt Abby squeeze his hand as he took a deep breath. “You remember that I wanted your head examined.” At Lester's get-on-with-it look, Ditzy continued, “Part way through your examination you collapsed and seized.”

“When was this?”

“About three months ago.”

Lester mouthed 'three months' before asking, “What happened? What's wrong with me? Why can't I remember?” His voice rose until it was obvious just how scared he was.

Abby gripped Lester's hand tightly. “Easy James. You're fine.”

“Please?” The alien look of fear and pleading in Lester's eyes had Abby blinking back tears.

Ditzy took a deep calming breath. “You've had emergency surgery to remove a tumour.”

Lester sounded petrified as he said, “Thing think with and...” he stopped and became agitated as he couldn't think of how to describe the word he was looking for, before he managed, “Growth not wanted? You mean bad growth that hurts people and comes back?”

“No sir, it was benign and they removed all of it. You'll be fine.” When Lester swallowed and didn't look any less scared, Ditzy added, “I'll get Mr Harrison to explain it to you, OK?” He pressed the call button. When a nurse entered the room, Ditzy said, “Can you please tell Mr Harrison that James needs to talk to him?”

*****

“Good evening, James. Good evening, Abby and David.”

“We've told James and he needs to talk to you.”

Harrison blinked at Abby's direct comment before taking in the terrified expression on Lester's face. “Of course. If you two wouldn't mind waiting outside.”

“Why?” Lester managed to sound like a teenager with that comment and had his lovers exchange a concerned look at his uncharacteristic response.

“Because it means you can ask me whatever you want without worrying about upsetting your lovers.”

Lester blushed slightly at that. “Oh.”

Abby leant in and kissed him. “I'm afraid everyone knows about us, James.”

“Oh.” Lester said again as he watched his lovers leave.

*****

A cleared throat brought Lester's attention back to Harrison and he swallowed. Do I really want to know?

Harrison smiled in a rather reassuring way. “I'm going to be direct, James, because I think you can handle it. If you have any questions, please ask them. OK?”

I can do this. Lester slowly nodded. “OK.”

“Good. You have had a brain tumour but it has all been removed.”

Lester let out a breath he didn't know he had been holding. “So, I'm cured? No... um...” He was too scared to worry about finding the correct word any more. “Bad thing that comes back?” Fuck! Please say yes.

“It wasn't cancer, James.”

“Oh.” It wasn't? Lester let out a relieved sigh. “What happens now? To me?”

“You'll continue to get better. It is a slow process.” Harrison paused as he noticed Lester looked like he wanted to speak.

“How slow? How much longer will I be here for?”

“It will take time, James. We have been helping you to get well.”

Lester nodded. “Learning to do things better.”

Harrison smiled. “From what I've seen so far, your mental abilities have improved tremendously. I have no doubt that you will regain all your former mental prowess.”

“And physically?” Will I be able to look after myself? I don't want to have to depend on others just to live. Just look how long it takes me to eat or talk.

“That is why the physiotherapist is working with you, James. Your coordination, balance and ability to focus have all improved. But you mustn't overdo it, you have been in bed for a considerable amount of time and will get tired quickly.”

“I shouldn't have any problems?” I've been independent all my life, I want a normal life.

“Emma, your physiotherapist, doesn't think so.”

Lester nodded before swallowing, “And my words?” I need my words, I depend on them for my job. Will I... “Will I be able to go back to work?”

“Moira has been working with you on that. She's very pleased with your progress. As for going back to work, we will have to discuss that with your employer.” He raised a hand, “But not before Emma is satisfied with your endurance and then only for a few hours to start with.”

Lester wasn't impressed with that answer and glared sullenly at his consultant.

Harrison sighed. “It will take time, James, and I have been told you are not a patient man. You will have to be. No matter how frustrating it is. Promise me you will try.”

Lester swallowed before nodding. “I'll try.” I will overcome it, no matter what. I can't, I won't be helpless.

“Good.”

“Mr... you?” Please, tell me it's good news.

“Yes?”

“How often do I need to come back for check-ups?” Please, let it be good.

Harrison snorted. “I see what your colleagues mean about impatience.” He saw the look in Lester's eyes and nodded. “You will need regular check-ups for rest of your life.”

“Oh. So, it can come back?” Lester could hear the fear in his own voice. Please God, no.

Harrison squeezed Lester's arm, “The check ups are more to reassure you and your loved ones that everything is fine.”

Lester quirked an eyebrow at the consultant. “I thought you were going to be honest with me?”

Harrison nodded. “The type of tumour you had, James, rarely returns.” He raised a hand as Lester opened his mouth. “Precisely, it does so in 9% of cases.”

“So... it could come. Can it come back as a bad one?”

Harrison nodded. “Well, your mental capabilities are certainly fine.” At Lester's scowl, he sighed as his attempt to distract Lester failed. “Infrequently it can sometimes return in a malignant form. It is rare for it to do so. The check ups are mostly for reassurance, James.”

“Better safe than sorry.” Lester closed his eyes and turned his head away. “Thank you for being honest with me.” This is too much.

“Maybe it was too early to tell you after all, James. I can see this has been too much for you. I'll send Abby and David back in.” He squeezed Lester's hand until he opened his eyes and looked back at the consultant. “You will be fine, James.”

***

Lester sat in his bedside chair and gnawed on his lower lip as he tried to think of the answer.

Moira gently took hold of his hand and squeezed it, “Stop chewing your lip, James. You'll only make it sore.”

“The name of the thing that you use to cut paper?”

“Yes, James. Do you know what is it called?”

Lester nodded. “Yes. I know up there... in... in my head but I can't find it.”

“Scis...”

Lester suddenly cut Moira off. “Scissors!”

“Good. Now, are you ready for your last one for today?”

Grinning at his success, Lester nodded.

“OK. How about, the thing that you use to write with?”

Lester's face screwed up as he concentrated and he started to gnaw on his lip again until Moira nudged him. “Sorry. Um... the name of the thing you write with?” Lester face cleared, “P...” He hit his bed with his fist, “I know it.”

“Calm down, James. Deep breaths. In and out. In and out. That's it. Now, back into bed for your nap”

“What is the name of the thing that you write with?” Lester asked as he climbed back into his bed.

“Pen.” Moira pulled Lester's covers around him as he settled down in his bed. “Have a good nap, James.”

Lester nodded as he rolled the words around in his mind. “Book. Car. Vase. Fruit. Hospital. Knife. Fork. Spoon. Scissors. Pen.” He snuggled under his covers and repeated those words until he drifted asleep.

*****

Lester woke up to the sight of his two grinning lovers. “What's gone wrong now?”

“Claudia, Nick and Connor will be over later.”

“They know?” He sighed at the worried look his lovers exchanged. “Of course they do. They've been here.”

“And everyone else knows too. I'm afraid they all like you, James.”

Lester managed a wry smile at that. “They do?”

“Yes. Claudia's been worried sick about you.” When Lester looked horrified at that, Abby squeezed his hand and added. “She cares about you, James. They all do. I'm afraid you'll just have to get used to it.”

Lester sighed. “I suppose so.”

Ditzy snorted. “You're not worried that your image of being a stubborn pain-in-the-arse with a wickedly sharp tongue has been shattered, are you?”

“I suppose it would be a stupid thing to worry about, considering.”

“Yes, it would be.” Abby sounded so firm that Lester gave her a worried look.

“I think Abby's got your number, sir.”

“Hmmm.”

“Yes, so you'll have to behave, James.” Abby said as she leant down to kiss him.

“I'm sure I can be persuaded.”

Ditzy laughed. “I'm sure you can be, sir.” When Lester quirked an eyebrow at him, he added. “And I might even call you 'sir'.”

Abby looked from one to the other, “Have I missed something.” She folded her arms and looked miffed when the two men just laughed. “You've asked for it, James.”

“Me? What have I done? It was him.”

Abby caught Ditzy's eye before ruffling James' hair, her fingers hesitating when they encountered the shorter hairs where it was still regrowing. “You're the one who is at my mercy, love. Remember that.” When Lester leered at her, Abby groaned, “Not until you are better.”

Before Lester could think of a reply, a soft knock on the door sounded before Claudia, Nick and Connor walked in.

Lester quirked an eyebrow at them before a look of concentration appeared on his face and he gnawed on his lower lip. When Abby squeezed his hand he looked at her and sighed. “You, you and you, what have I done to be graced by your presence?”

Nick smirked as he hugged Claudia. “You got ill, James. That's what you've done. So how do you feel?”

Lester smirked back. “I never knew you cared.”

Nick smiled. “I've got used to your particular brand of arrogance, James. Now, how do you feel?”

“Tired and fed up with the damn bleeps.”

Connor looked bit puzzled, “How is that answering how you feel?”

Abby smiled softly. “He means that he fed up being here.”

“Unfortunately, he's got to put up with them.” Ditzy squeezed Lester's hand. “At least until he's well enough to be released.”

Claudia nodded. “Remind me to book you both time off.”

“Ma'am?”

“I'd assumed you'd want to look after James.”

“I...” Ditzy shifted his feet. “I'd like to, ma'am. But I have a job to do.”

“Ftt” Claudia said. “I doubt you'd be much good with half your mind on how James is. Ryan can borrow another medic for now.”

Lester blinked tiredly, before asking, “Don't I get a say in this?”

A chorus of “No” met his question and Lester just blinked at them. Claudia continued. “You are to concentrate on getting better, James, and doing what you are told by the staff here.”

Abby nodded as she squeezed Lester's hand. “And what David and I tell you at home. Mr Harrison is having a program of exercises drawn up for you once you're home.”

When Lester looked rebellious over that, Claudia raised an eyebrow. “Don't be a bad patient, James. It could be a lot worse.”

Lester met her eyes and nodded. “I know.” He sighed softly before smiling at his two lovers, “I suppose I can put up with it.” Leaning over to kiss Lester's forehead, Claudia softly added. “You're lucky to have two people who love you, James.”

Lester smiled softly. “I know that, too.”