![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Entry tags:
Primeval fic: I'm Not Going To Leave - Birthday fic for Kristen_mara
Title: I'm Not Going To Leave
Author: knitekat
Word Count: ~2170
Characters: Nick Cutter, Stephen Hart, with cameos by Jenny Lewis and James Lester.
Rating: 15
Disclaimer: Primeval belongs to Impossible Pictures. Certainly not me. Writing for fun and will replace.
A/N: For Kristen-mara's birthday and her prompt: Hmmm, Stephen has survived 2.07 and Nick is determined to take care of him? I love recuperation hurt/comfort fics. But if that doesn't work with your muse, as long as it is something where they end up together and happy in the end!! Hope you liked it.
A/N2: Thanks go to the wonderful Fred for the beta. Cheers m'dear.
Stephen smiled as he stepped away from the door. This was right, this was what he needed to do. He'd screwed up everything in his life and he refused to let Nick die for him. This was his fault, after all, for believing Helen.
Again.
He swallowed when the Smilodon snarled and circled into view. The chitter of Future Predators and the click of Velociraptor claws sent a shiver of fear up his back.
This was it.
He was about to die.
He didn't regret it, not if Nick survived. The only thing he did regret was every thinking Helen was the Cutter he wanted.
Stephen screamed as he was knocked to the floor and pain ripped through his body. He could feel teeth digging into his leg as something chewed on his arm. He was being eaten alive and could only pray it was over quickly.
His vision dimmed as he felt his body pulled in different directions. He could hear growls and snarled as the creatures fought over him, and then a muffled boom before he knew no more.
Nick just couldn't believe Stephen had been so stupid. Not just in believing Helen. How could he have locked himself in that room with the creatures, how could he just throw his life away as if it meant nothing...
Nick knew the answer to that. Every since Helen's revelation over the affair, he'd turned away from Stephen. Had told him he was forgiven before turning around and showing he wasn't. How had he expected Stephen to react?
Nick knew the answer to that, too. He had hoped Stephen would leave. Leave and be forgotten, although that was a lie. Learning about the affair had broken Nick inside. Thinking about Stephen in Helen's arms instead of... he just couldn't stand the thought that Stephen had shagged Helen but not him.
And now... now what was he going to do? Nick didn't know. All he knew was the thought of Stephen dying was agony...
Nick slowly sank to his knees outside the door. Tears flowing freely down his face as he realised what he had thrown away.
Nick paced the waiting room, back and forth, as he waited for news. It felt like Stephen had been in the operating theatre forever. All Nick could hope was that no news was good news. That Stephen was still alive, still fighting for survival.
“Have you been here all night?” Jenny's voice broke into his thoughts. She sighed. “Of course you have.”
Nick looked at her hopefully. “Have you heard anything?”
Jenny shook her head. “Go home, Nick.”
Nick shock his violently. “No!”
Jenny closed her eyes for a moment before she stepped forward and squeezed Nick's shoulder. “Please, Nick. I promise to call you when there is any news.”
“I can't.” Nick hadn't been there for Stephen, that was why they were in this mess. He had to be there for him now.
“I could order you home, Cutter.”
Nick looked up to see Lester, looking as unruffled as ever. Although when he moved, Nick noticed the wince the man almost suppressed.
“I won't go.”
Lester gave a brief smile. “You never were one to do as you were told. Neither was Stephen.”
Nick swung around, a look of fury on his face. “You bastard.”
Lester nodded. “Good. Stephen will need your strength.”
Nick blinked. “What?”
“I assume you'll want to look after him?” Lester enquired blandly. “When he's released?”
“What?” Nick couldn't get his mind around what Lester was telling him.
“Get some rest, Nick.” Lester sighed softly. “Stephen won't be allowed any visitors yet and, I promise you, you will be the first one.”
Stephen slowly woke. Everything was white and he felt... happy. Was this what death felt was like? All white and floaty. He had never believed in heaven and certainly believe – if it existed – that he would never make it there. Not with the disaster he had made of his life, after all, wasn't adultery a sin? Not to mention suicide.
Nick's knees almost buckled when he saw Stephen lying in the hospital bed – he was swathed in bandages and so many machines were attached to him.
Nick barely made it to the chair before his knees gave out. He just stared at Stephen, listening to him breathing. Finally he reached out a hand and gingerly clasped Stephen's, willing his friend to wake.
Stephen woke again, biting his lip as pain lanced through his body. He gasped and cringed as even that movement hurt.
“Stephen?”
He managed to focus on the face that swam in front of him. Was that Nick? Maybe he wasn't dead after all? That would explain the pain... but if he wasn't dead, why was Nick here? After everything he'd done.
Nick smiled and for the life of him, Stephen couldn't figure out why and he stared at Nick in confusion.
“Welcome back, Stephen. You had me... us worried.”
Stephen licked his dry lips, his voice nearly a whisper. “I'm not dead?”
Nick laughed, although to Stephen's ears it bordered on hysterical. “No, you bloody idiot.”
Stephen swallowed and his eyes almost drifted close. He forced his eyelids open. He had to know. “Why?”
Nick frowned. “Why what?”
“Why here?” Stephen felt so tired, his eyelids heavy and he had to close them. As he drifted towards unconsciousness, he heard Nick. It must have been the drugs he was on, or wishful thinking. Nick would never say that to him.
Nick felt his heart thud painfully in his chest at Stephen's words. He had expected Nick to leave him? Fuck! Of course he had, hadn't that been what Nick had made him think when he had tried to drive Stephen away.
He shook his head in denial, but knew Stephen hadn't seen. His voice low, Nick leaned in close. “I'm not going anywhere, Stephen.” His voice broke slightly. “I love you.” He roughly brushed his eyes. “I should have told you. I should have...” Nick's voice trailed off.
Stephen woke and smiled as he saw Nick by his bedside, sleeping soundly if his snores were anything to go by. Unwilling to wake his friend, Stephen looked around the room. He didn't remember being hurt...
Oh fuck!
Everything came back to Stephen like a tidal wave crashing down on him. All his mistakes and how the hell could Nick stand to be in the same room as him? It just didn't make sense, the man had fired him and... maybe he just felt responsible somehow, for Stephen going into that room?
Stephen smiled bitterly. That was it, as soon as Nick knew Stephen was out of danger, he'd leave and never return. That thought sent sharp pain lancing through Stephen's chest, but it was no more than he deserved.
Nick woke suddenly, disorientated and wondering where the hell he was. His gaze fell upon Stephen and he was on his feet, one of Stephen's hands clasped in his own. “Stephen?”
Stephen blinked rapidly and his eyes were suspiciously moist before he turned his face away from Nick. It almost broke Nick's battered heart, having the man he now realised he loved reject him. He swallowed before managing to force the words out. “Are you in pain? Should I call a nurse?”
Stephen shook his head and hissed with pain. “No. I'm fine.”
“Stephen?”
“Please, just leave me alone.”
Nick closed his eyes and bowed his head. He had lost Stephen although the man was still alive. “OK. I'll come back tomorrow. OK?” He took Stephen's muffled grunt as agreement, although he feared it was not.
Stephen stared at the sheet covering his body. It was bad enough to see the ragged stitches that criss-crossed his body – never again would anyone call him 'pretty boy'. He'd even refused to look in a mirror, fearing the ruin his face must be.
But what lay before him was even worse. A sob hitched in his throat. Scars he could live with, but this...
“Stephen?”
Nick voice broke through his morbid thoughts and he knew now why his former best friend still visited him. Pity.
Nick took one look at Stephen's tear-strained face and followed his gaze before pulling him into a fierce hug. “Everything will be fine.”
Stephen made a harsh, bitter sound. “How can it?”
“Lester's arranged for expert help...”
Stephen shook his head. “What help?”
Nick closed his eyes for a moment. “We will get through this. Together.”
“Together?” Stephen asked scathingly. “I don't want your pity.”
Nick felt those words like a punch. “Never pity, Stephen. Never.”
Stephen snorted. “What then?”
Nick released him and sat on the bed, one of Stephen's hands in his. “I... I'm no good with this relationship crap.”
Stephen snorted despite the situation. “That isn't news.”
Nick nodded before sighing. “I should have talked to you. I shouldn't have driven you away.”
“That was my fault. I should have told you the truth.” Stephen shook his head. “I should never have believed Helen loved me.”
Nick stared at their clasped hands. “That was what hurt.” He looked up and swallowed thickly. “That you were with her... and not with me.”
Stephen blinked and shook his head. He couldn't have heard that correctly. What pain-killers did they have him on?
Nick's shoulders slumped. “I should leave you to rest.”
Stephen just stared at Nick, he couldn't believe what he had heard, except Nick looked so rejected when he stood to leave. “No!”
Nick turned, hope in his eyes for a moment before it died.
“You want to be with me? After everything?” Stephen motioned at the covers. “Even with this?”
Nick nodded. “Yes.” He moved back to Stephen, taking his hand again. “If you do?”
“I...” Stephen swallowed. “It wouldn't be fair to you.”
“I think I'm the best judge of that.” Nick sounded almost amused.
“But...”
“But nothing, Stephen. I want to be with you.” Nick gave a wry smile. “I should have told you years ago, but... I thought you wouldn't want me.”
Stephen stroked a hand over Nick's face. “Why wouldn't I want you?”
“I'm an irritable, stubborn, mule-headed man the wrong side of 40?”
Stephen nodded. “There is that.” At Nick's frown, he added, “You're also the best friend I ever had, the best times of my life were on digs with you. Sharing a tent and pretending we were together.”
“You've got me, Stephen, if you want me.”
“I can't accept.” Stephen felt like he was throwing his one chance for happiness away, but he couldn't accept Nick's pity. In the end, it would only make Nick bitter towards him and sour any love that might have grown between then.
Nick sighed as he followed Stephen's gaze. “This isn't about pity, Stephen.”
“No?”
“No.” Nick took Stephen face in his hands, holding him firm as he kissed him. “I tried to drive you away because it hurt too much, knowing you wanted Helen rather than me.” Nick snorted. “Not that I'm much of a catch.”
“More than I am.”
Nick waved Stephen's comment away. “I love you for more than your body.”
Stephen's voice was bitter then. “Just as well.”
Nick shook his head. “You remember I said I was a stubborn, mule-headed fool?” A Stephen's confused look, he added, “I'm not giving up on you, Stephen. We will get through this together and I will prove that I love you.”
Stephen shook his head in disbelief. How could Nick was to be with him, the man who had betrayed his trust. A man who was savaged and not whole. “Nick?”
Nick silenced him once more, pressing his lips against Stephen's. His tongue seeking entrance that Stephen granted. He would have this, even if Nick left him.
Slowly pulling back, Nick looked deep into his eyes as he grasped Stephen’s hand again. “Together.”
“Stubborn idiot.”
“Takes one to know one.” Nick smiled before caressing his face. “Will you let me help?”
Stephen took a deep breath, his gaze once more drawn to his covers. “You won't give up, will you?”
“No.”
“Fine.” Stephen said with a slight smile, knowing Nick would give up and leave him.
Nick shook his head and smiled at him, before leaning in to claim another kiss. “I'm not going to leave.”
Author: knitekat
Word Count: ~2170
Characters: Nick Cutter, Stephen Hart, with cameos by Jenny Lewis and James Lester.
Rating: 15
Disclaimer: Primeval belongs to Impossible Pictures. Certainly not me. Writing for fun and will replace.
A/N: For Kristen-mara's birthday and her prompt: Hmmm, Stephen has survived 2.07 and Nick is determined to take care of him? I love recuperation hurt/comfort fics. But if that doesn't work with your muse, as long as it is something where they end up together and happy in the end!! Hope you liked it.
A/N2: Thanks go to the wonderful Fred for the beta. Cheers m'dear.
Stephen smiled as he stepped away from the door. This was right, this was what he needed to do. He'd screwed up everything in his life and he refused to let Nick die for him. This was his fault, after all, for believing Helen.
Again.
He swallowed when the Smilodon snarled and circled into view. The chitter of Future Predators and the click of Velociraptor claws sent a shiver of fear up his back.
This was it.
He was about to die.
He didn't regret it, not if Nick survived. The only thing he did regret was every thinking Helen was the Cutter he wanted.
Stephen screamed as he was knocked to the floor and pain ripped through his body. He could feel teeth digging into his leg as something chewed on his arm. He was being eaten alive and could only pray it was over quickly.
His vision dimmed as he felt his body pulled in different directions. He could hear growls and snarled as the creatures fought over him, and then a muffled boom before he knew no more.
***
Nick just couldn't believe Stephen had been so stupid. Not just in believing Helen. How could he have locked himself in that room with the creatures, how could he just throw his life away as if it meant nothing...
Nick knew the answer to that. Every since Helen's revelation over the affair, he'd turned away from Stephen. Had told him he was forgiven before turning around and showing he wasn't. How had he expected Stephen to react?
Nick knew the answer to that, too. He had hoped Stephen would leave. Leave and be forgotten, although that was a lie. Learning about the affair had broken Nick inside. Thinking about Stephen in Helen's arms instead of... he just couldn't stand the thought that Stephen had shagged Helen but not him.
And now... now what was he going to do? Nick didn't know. All he knew was the thought of Stephen dying was agony...
Nick slowly sank to his knees outside the door. Tears flowing freely down his face as he realised what he had thrown away.
***
Nick paced the waiting room, back and forth, as he waited for news. It felt like Stephen had been in the operating theatre forever. All Nick could hope was that no news was good news. That Stephen was still alive, still fighting for survival.
“Have you been here all night?” Jenny's voice broke into his thoughts. She sighed. “Of course you have.”
Nick looked at her hopefully. “Have you heard anything?”
Jenny shook her head. “Go home, Nick.”
Nick shock his violently. “No!”
Jenny closed her eyes for a moment before she stepped forward and squeezed Nick's shoulder. “Please, Nick. I promise to call you when there is any news.”
“I can't.” Nick hadn't been there for Stephen, that was why they were in this mess. He had to be there for him now.
“I could order you home, Cutter.”
Nick looked up to see Lester, looking as unruffled as ever. Although when he moved, Nick noticed the wince the man almost suppressed.
“I won't go.”
Lester gave a brief smile. “You never were one to do as you were told. Neither was Stephen.”
Nick swung around, a look of fury on his face. “You bastard.”
Lester nodded. “Good. Stephen will need your strength.”
Nick blinked. “What?”
“I assume you'll want to look after him?” Lester enquired blandly. “When he's released?”
“What?” Nick couldn't get his mind around what Lester was telling him.
“Get some rest, Nick.” Lester sighed softly. “Stephen won't be allowed any visitors yet and, I promise you, you will be the first one.”
***
Stephen slowly woke. Everything was white and he felt... happy. Was this what death felt was like? All white and floaty. He had never believed in heaven and certainly believe – if it existed – that he would never make it there. Not with the disaster he had made of his life, after all, wasn't adultery a sin? Not to mention suicide.
***
Nick's knees almost buckled when he saw Stephen lying in the hospital bed – he was swathed in bandages and so many machines were attached to him.
Nick barely made it to the chair before his knees gave out. He just stared at Stephen, listening to him breathing. Finally he reached out a hand and gingerly clasped Stephen's, willing his friend to wake.
***
Stephen woke again, biting his lip as pain lanced through his body. He gasped and cringed as even that movement hurt.
“Stephen?”
He managed to focus on the face that swam in front of him. Was that Nick? Maybe he wasn't dead after all? That would explain the pain... but if he wasn't dead, why was Nick here? After everything he'd done.
Nick smiled and for the life of him, Stephen couldn't figure out why and he stared at Nick in confusion.
“Welcome back, Stephen. You had me... us worried.”
Stephen licked his dry lips, his voice nearly a whisper. “I'm not dead?”
Nick laughed, although to Stephen's ears it bordered on hysterical. “No, you bloody idiot.”
Stephen swallowed and his eyes almost drifted close. He forced his eyelids open. He had to know. “Why?”
Nick frowned. “Why what?”
“Why here?” Stephen felt so tired, his eyelids heavy and he had to close them. As he drifted towards unconsciousness, he heard Nick. It must have been the drugs he was on, or wishful thinking. Nick would never say that to him.
***
Nick felt his heart thud painfully in his chest at Stephen's words. He had expected Nick to leave him? Fuck! Of course he had, hadn't that been what Nick had made him think when he had tried to drive Stephen away.
He shook his head in denial, but knew Stephen hadn't seen. His voice low, Nick leaned in close. “I'm not going anywhere, Stephen.” His voice broke slightly. “I love you.” He roughly brushed his eyes. “I should have told you. I should have...” Nick's voice trailed off.
***
Stephen woke and smiled as he saw Nick by his bedside, sleeping soundly if his snores were anything to go by. Unwilling to wake his friend, Stephen looked around the room. He didn't remember being hurt...
Oh fuck!
Everything came back to Stephen like a tidal wave crashing down on him. All his mistakes and how the hell could Nick stand to be in the same room as him? It just didn't make sense, the man had fired him and... maybe he just felt responsible somehow, for Stephen going into that room?
Stephen smiled bitterly. That was it, as soon as Nick knew Stephen was out of danger, he'd leave and never return. That thought sent sharp pain lancing through Stephen's chest, but it was no more than he deserved.
***
Nick woke suddenly, disorientated and wondering where the hell he was. His gaze fell upon Stephen and he was on his feet, one of Stephen's hands clasped in his own. “Stephen?”
Stephen blinked rapidly and his eyes were suspiciously moist before he turned his face away from Nick. It almost broke Nick's battered heart, having the man he now realised he loved reject him. He swallowed before managing to force the words out. “Are you in pain? Should I call a nurse?”
Stephen shook his head and hissed with pain. “No. I'm fine.”
“Stephen?”
“Please, just leave me alone.”
Nick closed his eyes and bowed his head. He had lost Stephen although the man was still alive. “OK. I'll come back tomorrow. OK?” He took Stephen's muffled grunt as agreement, although he feared it was not.
***
Stephen stared at the sheet covering his body. It was bad enough to see the ragged stitches that criss-crossed his body – never again would anyone call him 'pretty boy'. He'd even refused to look in a mirror, fearing the ruin his face must be.
But what lay before him was even worse. A sob hitched in his throat. Scars he could live with, but this...
“Stephen?”
Nick voice broke through his morbid thoughts and he knew now why his former best friend still visited him. Pity.
***
Nick took one look at Stephen's tear-strained face and followed his gaze before pulling him into a fierce hug. “Everything will be fine.”
Stephen made a harsh, bitter sound. “How can it?”
“Lester's arranged for expert help...”
Stephen shook his head. “What help?”
Nick closed his eyes for a moment. “We will get through this. Together.”
“Together?” Stephen asked scathingly. “I don't want your pity.”
Nick felt those words like a punch. “Never pity, Stephen. Never.”
Stephen snorted. “What then?”
Nick released him and sat on the bed, one of Stephen's hands in his. “I... I'm no good with this relationship crap.”
***
Stephen snorted despite the situation. “That isn't news.”
Nick nodded before sighing. “I should have talked to you. I shouldn't have driven you away.”
“That was my fault. I should have told you the truth.” Stephen shook his head. “I should never have believed Helen loved me.”
Nick stared at their clasped hands. “That was what hurt.” He looked up and swallowed thickly. “That you were with her... and not with me.”
Stephen blinked and shook his head. He couldn't have heard that correctly. What pain-killers did they have him on?
Nick's shoulders slumped. “I should leave you to rest.”
Stephen just stared at Nick, he couldn't believe what he had heard, except Nick looked so rejected when he stood to leave. “No!”
Nick turned, hope in his eyes for a moment before it died.
“You want to be with me? After everything?” Stephen motioned at the covers. “Even with this?”
Nick nodded. “Yes.” He moved back to Stephen, taking his hand again. “If you do?”
“I...” Stephen swallowed. “It wouldn't be fair to you.”
“I think I'm the best judge of that.” Nick sounded almost amused.
“But...”
“But nothing, Stephen. I want to be with you.” Nick gave a wry smile. “I should have told you years ago, but... I thought you wouldn't want me.”
Stephen stroked a hand over Nick's face. “Why wouldn't I want you?”
“I'm an irritable, stubborn, mule-headed man the wrong side of 40?”
Stephen nodded. “There is that.” At Nick's frown, he added, “You're also the best friend I ever had, the best times of my life were on digs with you. Sharing a tent and pretending we were together.”
“You've got me, Stephen, if you want me.”
“I can't accept.” Stephen felt like he was throwing his one chance for happiness away, but he couldn't accept Nick's pity. In the end, it would only make Nick bitter towards him and sour any love that might have grown between then.
***
Nick sighed as he followed Stephen's gaze. “This isn't about pity, Stephen.”
“No?”
“No.” Nick took Stephen face in his hands, holding him firm as he kissed him. “I tried to drive you away because it hurt too much, knowing you wanted Helen rather than me.” Nick snorted. “Not that I'm much of a catch.”
“More than I am.”
Nick waved Stephen's comment away. “I love you for more than your body.”
Stephen's voice was bitter then. “Just as well.”
Nick shook his head. “You remember I said I was a stubborn, mule-headed fool?” A Stephen's confused look, he added, “I'm not giving up on you, Stephen. We will get through this together and I will prove that I love you.”
***
Stephen shook his head in disbelief. How could Nick was to be with him, the man who had betrayed his trust. A man who was savaged and not whole. “Nick?”
Nick silenced him once more, pressing his lips against Stephen's. His tongue seeking entrance that Stephen granted. He would have this, even if Nick left him.
Slowly pulling back, Nick looked deep into his eyes as he grasped Stephen’s hand again. “Together.”
“Stubborn idiot.”
“Takes one to know one.” Nick smiled before caressing his face. “Will you let me help?”
Stephen took a deep breath, his gaze once more drawn to his covers. “You won't give up, will you?”
“No.”
“Fine.” Stephen said with a slight smile, knowing Nick would give up and leave him.
Nick shook his head and smiled at him, before leaning in to claim another kiss. “I'm not going to leave.”